A Pickin' and a Pluckin'

Every night, before my nightly shower, I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. I am merely observing the mess of eyebrows and dirty pores that magically appear every day. Really, how fast do eyebrows grow, for God's sake? I have been plucking since forever ago. If I didn't, instead of Christie, well mannered, young woman, with 2 kids, you would be looking at Bert, well mannered Sesame Street character, with an affinity for pigeons. I really have no skill in plucking, it is an art form that I have never mastered. Once, a long time ago, I had my brows waxed. I went to my salon and the sadist appeared, ready to slap the hottest wax she could find in my eye area, before yanking off the offending brows with one swoop. I found the hardest part to be the anticipation of the impending pain. I actually hated the wax more than the yanking. It is HOT! She might as well have dunked my face in a chicken fryer. Ok, so they looked nice, but I was never sure it was worth $21. Anyway, shortly thereafter, I went back to the plucking route. See, if you want a good eyebrow wax, you have to let them grow for awhile so there is something to remove. In reality, that probably wouldn't take me too long. But, and this is important, do you really want people to see your mangy eyebrows while you are waiting for them to grow out? I know, I don't. I am not resorting to the Bert look, unibrows are not my cup of tea. Neither is the white brow I plucked this evening.

As I move on, I stare at my chin and nose. For some reason, I was blessed with big pores that fill with muck faster than a I can keep up with. It really is disgusting and I have yet to find anything that keeps them clear. So, I empty them of their vile gunk. I know you aren't supposed to pick but I just squeeze them a little bit. I don't have scarring so I think I am doing ok. Sometimes, I use a battery operated brush/scrubber deal. You wash your face, smear this gritty cream all over your face, then flip the switch and magically a layer of your skin is removed. You are left with a nice, pink face. Very smooth, too. It cleans the pores but in a couple of days, the scum returns. Short of going to a dermatologist, I am left with a T-zone that looks like Love Canal. Oh, well... What is that saying, you can pick your pores, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends pores?