Thursday, June 26, 2008


I have read that a Leo's claim to fame is her luxurious, fantastic, smooth, shiny hair. I am a Leo. I don't have claim any of those adjectives. I have fine, flat, brown, boring hair. Don't get me wrong, I get great haircuts, it is strictly my hair that is the issue. I have a video of where I was on TV back in the 90's, I have the same hairstyle that I have right now! It is sad. I am going to revisit some of my past haircuts and the stylists that recreated me. Lucky for you, I don't have pictures so you will just have to use your imagination to get the full impact.

When I was very young, I had long, beautiful hair. One day, dear, old dad took me to the salon where it was cut in one of those ultra-hip bowl cuts. It was pretty evil and jinxed me for the rest of my life.

I had a mullet. It was in the 8th grade and we called them bi-levels. I am not a lesbian, just someone that had misguided hair. I hid the pictures.

The 80's left me with several perms and some bad blonde, thanks to Sun In. Thanks to whomever for inventing that stuff. My 9th grade picture is me wearing a light yellow sweater to match my light yellow hair. I am making no mention of the skunk like look of my roots.

I don't remember the hair of the 90's. Probably because it looks too much like it does today.

When beloved husband and I got married in 2003, I made an appointment to have my hair professionally done. I spent roughly 2 hours sitting in the stylist's chair while she tempted fate with my hair. I didn't tell her that I could never do anything with it, I let her think she was doing a great job. After about 100 different curlers and a million bobby pins and a gallon of aerosol hairspray, I was ready to go get dressed for the ceremony. I had to cut my shirt off because I mindlessly forgot to wear a button up. I took out my curlers and shook out my beautiful, ringlety, wavy hair. I fluffed it and sprayed again. One little problem, my hair wasn't ringlety or wavy and it sure as hell wasn't beautiful! It looked pretty much like it always did, semi-wavy, dirty brown and really sticky with hairspray. Humpf. I have since learned my lesson, hair and Seattle don't really mix. Too much humidity makes my already fine hair limper and greasier than usual. No wonder they have a high suicide rate.

After having Mia, I got brave, or stupid, and had my shoulder length hair cut to a short, short bob ala Keira Knightley. It was cute. For about a minute. My own husband walked right past me when I went to show him. He had no idea it was me. It took about 100 years to grow out. Learned me.

Thinking back over the years that I have lived in Wichita, I have probably had haircuts with about 20 people! I usually find someone who's hair I like and ask them who they use. That landed me at Eric Fisher with a great guy named, well I can't remember, but he moved and I cried for days. He always told me that I was beautiful and spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to coax my hair into a manageble style. I still believe there is nothing like a gay man to cut your hair. I had another, a gay stylist, I mean, at Planet Hair. I think his name was Ben. He moved too. Dang it. Ben and the Eric Fisher guy were the greatest. Among the worst, a guy at a close salon to my house in Riverside. He had dyed blonde hair. I could overlook that but what got me was the dripping blood from his fingertips as he razored my hair! You don't razor fine hair, come to find out. After the cut, he colored it some magenta, reddish, scary color. I was in shock, to say the least. He was later murdered. It was a very sad story that didn't surround poor haircuts.

There have been female stylists in my haircutting life. One of the firsts, was June, at Charisma. This was prior to the $7 quatrillion building they built on 21st. June was nice but there were always a few strands that came from nowhere that had to be recut. I did like her though. Then, there was Nellie, also at Charisma. She moved. I only saw her like twice, so I don't think that I scared her off. Maybe I am wrong about that. Recently, I used the guy that cuts the rest of my families hair. He is very reasonable and I appreciate that. He speaks little understandable English. I always get a good cut but the language barrier is a bit of a turnoff. I don't always know if we are on the same wavelength or not. For awhile, I went to my neighbor. She would give me a free haircut if I would watch her kitty while they were on vacation. Hell, yes! I can watch a cat for 2 weeks to get a $40 haircut.

My latest hair venture has been with a fellow mommy board member. I won't name her because I didn't ask her first and I think she probably thinks that I have boring hair, which I do, it is safer. I got a good cut and I still look like myself, meaning I really didn't do much to alter my appearance. I really like my new stylist. Of course, she has great hair, is pretty and as much as you want to hold that against her, you just can't because she is down to earth and really nice. She will probably move.

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