Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Soul mates

Just so you know, this isn't a happy, puffy piece on how you once looked at someone and decided that he/she was your soul mate. It delves into a little more than that, and it isn't going to be comfortable to read.

Soul mate can be defined as a person that is ideally suited to you in temperament, attitude and beliefs. You may like the same movies, the same food, the same sports teams. Or, you may not, but there is something there that clicks and you know it, right off. You may be content to sit in a room and read, something that is usually solo, but you are comfortable enough in your own skin to realize that it is time together, doing something you both like. It may be happily tinkering in the kitchen, trying new recipes, laughing, when it doesn't turn out the way it should. It is many things, and only you know the reason for the attraction.

In my early teens, I had a girlfriend that came to visit her sister in the summers. She was my age, maybe 2 heads taller and had a funny accent. She was from Pennsylvania and even though I am originally from Texas, her accent struck me as really different. She was funny and we clicked. We rode bikes and hung out. It was nice, because she was just next door. I also liked her big sister. She had a little boy that was a year old and my mom liked her too. We all hung out.

Eventually, as military families do, our neighbors moved and I never saw my friend again. I heard about her, from her sister, I knew she was well, graduated from high school and college. She also married and had a little boy.

The newspaper article described them as "soul mates," a couple that loved each other and their little boy more than words could describe. They shared a big, old brick house, that they lovingly restored. I know that they wanted to have another child but were having a hard time with it. My mom told her sister that it had taken us awhile but we had succeeded. She thought it would be good for her sister to hear that it was possible and to keep trying. She wouldn't get the chance.

On November 2, all it took was a handgun to end an entire families life. Not just the husband, that died from a single gunshot wound, but, a wife, that died of multiple gunshot wounds, and a toddler, that died from one gunshot wound. What could motivate your soul mate to take your life? There are claims of depression after a lost job. Whatever the reason, it will remain unknown, and never make sense.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't own a gun. I'm not saying that losing a job isn't a horrible thing to happen. I'm not saying that depression is funny. In fact, I'm not sure what I am really saying. All I know, is that there are two families struggling to understand and put their lives back together in light of a terrible tragedy.

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